[It feels so quiet compared to a second ago. Balthier deflates and looks so small and vulnerable now, it hurts to see it. Sighing heavily his hands give a squeeze, some form of reassurance, that he wants Balthier here still.]
Not me. Not yet.
[Not yet, but even if he had, that doesn't mean that everything is over. That Balthier's worth to him as a person would lessen. People make mistakes, they fuck up, Reyes knows that all too well.]
... but you're right, I expected certain things from you when I hadn't explained any of it. Told you my big deep dark secret and that meant I was doing good. [Reyes shakes his head.] Or so I thought.
[Again there is so much more that needs to be said and addressed, but baby steps.]
[ The quiet gets deeper and more uncomfortable because Balthier is just. Staring. He’s not pulling away, but his lips are parted and his eyes are darting about Reyes’s face.
He knows he’s being terrible. He knows he’s overreacted. And he knows he’s right and now that he’s started naming his feelings, he knows he has legitimate concerns and has been wildly patient, and also has waited too long to say anything and— ]
Why are you being nice? [ It comes out as a hiss, but there isn’t as much bite to it. It’s not that the other things didn’t hit; he will undoubtedly replay them endlessly and try to integrate them into his existing narrative. But nothing about this interaction makes sense to him. His own anger wars with how surreal it is to just…have had an apology. It almost feels fake. ]
[It's a little disappointing when Balthier questions him. Does he not trust him? Do his words ring false? The hands on the pirate's arms slide down a little, grip loosening as he feels a bit lost himself right now.]
I could yell if it would help?
[Reyes winces and closes his eyes the second he says it. No, no don't- this is not the time to joke around. Another sigh, clipped, but it's frustration at himself at the situation. He's not sure how to navigate this. He'd not even gotten the chance to with Ryder. It was 'You're not the man I thought you were' and everything was over and it was back to business. Never discuss things again.
He couldn't do that with Balthier. Didn't want to either. He's unsure if his touch is wanted right now, but a hand grips at the back of Balthier's neck, squeezing gently as he lean in a little, eyes sad, but wanting to understand.]
It's not about being nice, Balthier, it's that I've wronged you. Wicked thief and murderous liar I might be when I have to, but... you're important to me. I want to do right by you.
[ There’s real hurt in Reyes’s face, in the coldness of that initial response. Balthier deserves both, even if some part of him is burning to chase it. See how it feels?
But it’s a passing anger. Hot until it crosses his mind and then immediately deflating. His heart hurts at seeing Reyes recoil like this and Scions he did that. This isn’t what he wanted. And now the shame is joining the rest of it and some part of him considers leaving, retreating to his fortress until he can sort this out, come back polished and ready to negotiate.
Assuming Reyes would even let him come back.
Then there’s a hand on his neck, pained words. Nowhere in his calculations had he considered that perhaps Reyes wasn’t … good at this.
That touch is the anchor her needs, the assurance that whatever is happening, whatever happened, this is still open between them. He’s not being told that he’s broken it and to go.
His chest is tight and his words are tighter. ]
I thought…you wanted space. Wanted to keep distance between us. And skies above I tried. I’ve told you. I’m melancholic and needy and clingy. I want all of you, to myself, indefinitely. And I know that isn’t fair to ask.
[ Except now that he’s saying it, he isn’t sure if any of that is true, outside the very real admission of what he wants.
He hesitantly sets his hand on Reyes’s leg. He doesn’t want him to go or yell or push him away. That would have just made it easier if he was being rejected.
[Sometimes easier isn't always the best option, even if we want it to be. The hand on his leg is a reassurance that okay, good, they're getting some where and that's all he can ask for right now.
They're both listening to each other.]
Believe me, kitten, I've known some of this for a while now.
[The pet name harkening back to that drunken night for Balthier when he'd been a clingy lap cat and earned 'kitten' from Reyes.]
I want space between you and the Charlatan, Balthier.
[Which might make it sound like he wants space between them, but that's not what he means.]
We both have our enemies, highlights of our day jobs, but the people that want to get to the Charlatan would do anything and- [His hand slides up, cupping behind Balthier's ear now, thumb brushing across his cheek.] Leading man and god-slayer you might be, but when I think about what they would do to you...
[Shaking his head a little, his eyes close as he gently pulls Balthier in closer to touch their foreheads together. It was never about Balthier not being capable of protecting himself, it was the 'what ifs'. Like when the Kett dropped a surprise attack on that trade outpost and Reyes almost died. Shit happens, he knows this and there's still so much out here in Andromeda that Balthier and Fran aren't familiar with that for all their knowledge, strengths and skill, just one little slip up, one roll of the dice that didn't land in their favor...]
[ Both listening is the part that has him so confused, even if he's finding himself deeply relieved to have read this very very wrong.
The use of his pet name -- of endearment, affection, pleasure despite him being a mess and behaving poorly some other time -- eases his fear further and again when Reyes touches his face, then presses their foreheads together. He's not certain he deserves this, but maybe this conversation is past keeping a ledger of who did what and to what end. Maybe he forgets to leave that at work sometimes; this is something entirely different than piracy, entirely different than anything else he's ever done.
He sighs, sliding his hand further up Reyes's thigh, gripping more tightly to assure he's no longer thinking about bolting, that the last thing he wants between them is distance.
That's why he was upset, after all. ]
We do both have our enemies. Don't think I haven't spent a good deal of hours and energy considering what danger I am to you and how to mitigate it. Watching you nearly die in arms once was enough, thank you. [ He's honestly touched that this is coming from a place of...of fear of loss, of him. But that doesn't mean it isn't condescending in some way, that it doesn't leave him feeling like he's being told off for being himself within the unfair constraints given. ]
We are both dating dangerous men, hmm? [ Because they are. Dating. ] That isn't going to change, and I'll be damned if I'm going to lose you -- or leave you, mortally or otherwise. So have a conversation with me. Let me know what I'm up against, or what I'm avoiding, instead of leaving me to bang around in the dark and cross some line I didn't know about and feel set up to fail.
I'm a good listener, Reyes. But I can't hear what's never been said to me. [ That leaves him to try to fill in the gaps. And clearly he hasn't done so correctly. ]
[It's a gentle tease, trying for a bit of normalcy. Wouldn't it be nice though if their lives of danger overlapped and negated one another? Would make all of this worrying easier.
But Balthier is right, it's not fair of Reyes to expect him to understand and follow rules when he's missing half the rulebook.]
Sometimes the darkness has its uses, but you're right... not like this.
[God but he wants to kiss him so badly now, but things are probably still a little too tense for that. He sits back, but is still close, fingers lightly brushing along Balthier's ear, toying with the earrings that adorn it.]
I've no doubt you've heard of the Outcasts and the name Sloane tossed around while on Kadara. Before you took flight to the stars they ruled Kadara Port, that is until the Charlatan killed Sloane and her vermin scattered. Needless to say we've had some problems squashing the rest of the Outcasts and there are others with their views too. Detractors to those who work with the Initiative. The people the Pathfinder works for, Ryder works for.
[Scott Ryder, the human Pathfinder for the Initiative. The people that those from the Milky Way galaxy came with to the Andromeda galaxy, looking for new worlds, new chances at life. Ryder with his crew had been working tirelessly to make multiple planets livable so they could set up outposts that would one day grow to be proper cities and civilizations. It was still very much a work in progress every where, Kadara was no different.]
There are people who would do anything to get to the Charlatan, to me, for... revenge, to take back Kadara as some sort of middle finger to the Initiative, but they don't have the numbers to take Kadara by force. So they're looking for any one they can get to who could possibly know, even just an inkling of the Charlatan's true identity.
[Reyes shifts to lean back against the couch, hand resting on Balthier's arm with a squeeze. Any distance between them right now still needs that reassurance he feels.]
It's all very dramatic, but dangerous. Keema is all but trapped in Kadara Port under constant guard as she's the obvious direct connection to me. Not that I think she would ever give me away, but... I'd rather her not get hurt because of me, nor do I want that for you. [He sighs, heavy, tired, but not at Balthier.] Any trade that the Charlatan would set up with Ivalice would be seen as gain for the Initiative, more reason for my enemies to snatch up whatever and whoever they can.
He's equally frozen by the gentle touch at his ear, the quiet intimacy of the way Reyes likes to fiddle with his jewelry when they talk, and the words tumbling out of him. Even when he sits back, his hand lingers.
Balthier's brow knits as Reyes speaks. Is...is Reyes afraid of losing him? ]
I've had a price on my head since I was 16. I've been hunted and caught by more angry pirates than I can count. The most powerful military in the world was after me by thirty. I know how this works.
[ His hand comes up to clasp the one at his arm. ] But I'm not used to my missteps effecting someone else. [ He and Fran were so inseparable that it was different. That and they made their decisions regarding risk together. ]
I ran this person entirely through Keema. I don't think there's an issue with it sounding like I knew anything more, and I have political reason in Ivalice to want this particular pirate to get the deal. I --
[ How much has he told Reyes, really? He sighs at himself. ]
You know I killed a god. I also killed my father, to prevent more genocide, and the prevent the Empire from crushing more countries under its boot. We won, barely. That lost princess is a queen now. Another of my contacts is the king of the former empire. Scions, Reyes, they both want me there, as an advisor, as a head of intelligence, as a...a piece of all this.
I left when I was a teen to avoid all that. It doesn't matter how far I run, I always get pulled back in. Hells I ran to the other end of the stars and they're still pulling me back.
[ He's talking partly to cover that he's still thinking through Reyes's words, through being let in and the ways this fills and corrects gaps in his model of things. And partly to try to offer some understanding of why this is all hit so hard today. ]
Perhaps the best foot forward is for me to be seeking out the Charlatan. If I am too emphatic I don't know them, it could be suspicious, and claiming that I do as a sort of bravado invites someone taking me at my word.
And -- maybe we need to give each other some primers on the whose who of our worlds.
[ It's his turn to slip a hand against Reyes's cheek. It's hesitant, and some part of him is still worried it isn't welcome, that he's broken something. At least he's always been good at putting on the face he wants, not the face he feels. ]
We're going to have to find a way to make this work.
[What he's starting to realize is for all they know the real 'them' behind their facades, there's still so much they haven't told one another. For better or worse. Here now though they've cut themselves open and are bleeding out to one another, figuratively of course.
There it is again, Balthier says he killed his own father, but this time there's a little more to it. God he can't imagine having that put on his shoulders. Killing family or letting people die. He can see now how the sky pirate could be insulted or hurt that he doesn't think he can handle some scoundrels wanting to kidnap or hurt him over the identity or one man. Not that it was ever that for Reyes. Balthier was very capable, even without his magicks, but it didn't stop him from being concerned.
It didn't make him feel any better knowing he was putting him in danger. That's what it was after all. Existing in his orbit was a danger and that was something he'd dragged Balthier into from the very start. It's best to let Balthier get it all out, he doesn't want to talk over him anyway. His head tilts into the hand at his cheek and he'll sigh softly, nodding.]
I'll put together dossiers on groups and people you should be knowledgeable about.
[His hand moves to lightly rest over Balthier's, face turning so he can press a kiss into his palm. His touch is always welcome, he wants him here, nothing has changed. Well. Things have changed, but not in that regard.]
This must all seem childish compared to your life, I guess you really weren't making it up when you said you were the leading man, mi amor.
[Reyes doesn't even realize he's slipped in the term of endearment, holding Balthier's hand in his lap.]
... I'm sorry, about your father, that can't have been an easy decision. [His fingers lightly brush over the sky pirate's hand, gentle, careful. There's hesitation in his words as he speaks again.] I-- can't say I like your idea, but you might be right. Either way you're putting yourself in danger. The Charlatan. Reyes Vidal. Your own wild life as the leading man.
[There's a lot he has to consider now. Not just in regard to Balthier.]
Maybe I shouldn't hide anymore. Either way people I care about, those who work for me, they're in danger, hiding behind titles and in shadows only complicates that. Not in a good way.
[ When this started, Balthier had thought their private lives, their pasts and their current work alike, didn't matter between them. They saw the real pieces of each other, and both respected that distance. But he's starting to suspect it can't work like that. Their real lives keep going, and the deeper they become entangled, the more those omissions feel like wounds.
Right now, though, his chest pulls tight. He hasn't let himself dwell on images of a future, convincing himself that Reyes not returning his confession of love was a line in the sand. Not that it's done anything to keep him away; no, it's only made him conscious of wanting a thing he likely can't have, and he's old hat at that.
Now, though, with Reyes spilling his thoughts like this, kissing Balthier's palm and clinging to him like he'll drift away, he's wondering if he hasn't been a complete fool. Reyes, who has never said an unkind thing about him, who always has time for him, who looks at him like he's something precious. Reyes, who doesn't like to say anything directly. ]
I rarely make things up about my life; it's unbelievable enough on it's own. But the teeth of a dog are as real as the teeth of a wyrm. Both can kill. [ He doesn't recognize the words Reyes says, from his mother tongue by the way the sounds fit snugly with his accent, but he recognizes a term of endearment, some kind of claim on his heart. He squeezes Reyes's hand, and shifts so their legs are touching, because that seems important. ] I am not insinuating either of us is more or less than the other; that is my point. We are both plenty steeped in danger on our own. Let us at least enjoy the benefits of being together, then.
[ His mouth goes dry at the next part, I'm sorry about your father. He swallows but it doesn't help. Fran's the only person he's really talked to about it; he often brushes that incident off as triumphant pirate drama, but -- it hurts to hear it, the good sort of hurt. Permission for it to hurt. Followed by you might be right and maybe I shouldn't hide anymore.
He shifts again, half in Reyes's lap so he can press their foreheads together, clasp the back of Reyes's head in his hand. ]
You don't need to make any life altering decisions tonight, but I'll support you in what you choose. They both have their benefits, secrecy and being in the open.
[At first their separate lives had worked well, but now... the closer they get the more entangled they become and it's no longer just good clean fun and flirting around.
But Balthier is worth this. Balthier is worth changing for, even if that change isn't that significant in the scheme of things. It's not even that he's changing because of any push or shove from Balthier's side of things, but because he wants to be a better man.
The better man Ryder saw him in, the man that Balthier sees in him too. Maybe he's already that, but sometimes he's not sure who or what he is. He's been a lot of things since coming to Andromeda, especially to Kadara... perhaps taking all those faces and masks and putting them into one would be the best thing.]
You could tell me you were a god yourself and I might believe, you know.
[It feels good when Balthier makes another point of connection between them, more reassurance for the both of them. Finally it feels like he can breathe a little easier, like there's a light at the end of whatever tunnel they'd been in. A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips, head nodding.]
All I can ask of you is to be patient with me. I'm a foolish man, Balthier. Add it to the list, right? Greedy, selfish and foolish, not sure why you put up with my nonsense.
[He's mostly joking, but a part of him does wonder sometimes.]
Promise I won't make any decisions irrationally, I have to talk with Keema about this. You'll be the second to know when I've made a decision.
[Because Keema will be the first, as his right hand woman.]
[ He knows all about having a right hand woman who is privy to every decision, first. Likes that that's something Reyes understands, honestly.
And the rest of it, well, he's starting to reach disbelief saturation. It may be a good thing he doesn't know Reyes is feeling moved to change if not for him, in relation to him. What he does know is this man makes him feel somehow simultaneously out of his depth, utterly off balanced, and entirely rooted. Home.
Reyes's plea, gentle and playful as it is, pulls a kiss from him, quick, apology and forgiveness. There's a real benefit to not having to belabor everything with words. ]
Just how I like you. [ Because it's abundantly clear Balthier is those things too, and needs a good deal of patience, and it seems like they're both alright with that arrangement. He's thinking about addressing the end of that, or what the agreement to his request means to him, but there's a knock at the door.
He sits back, chuckling. ] I ordered us food. [ He goes to collect it -- some take out place they both like, something Reyes introduced him to, but when he comes to set it on the coffee table, he pauses at his bag, fishing out a small, pretty wooden box. He sits again, a little farther away but leg touching again, because he wants to see Reyes's face as he hands it to him. ]
Brought you something back.
[ Inside is a long glimmering green pendant on a thin chain, long enough it would sit entirely under most of Reyes's shirt necks. ]
It's a protect charm -- in Ivalice it would actually dull any physical damage toward your body. I've genuinely no idea if the spell will work away from the Mist, nor if it will work upon return, but what's romance if not symbolism and wishful thinking?
[ And maybe he worries about Reyes too, even if this is objectively not much in the way of actual protection. ]
[He'd thought they'd both understood each other a lot more because of their more shady lifestyle, but it seemed like only some of that was true. At least now they're learning they can come to one another with these things and talk them out. As rocky as that might be.
They'd come out the other side still together, as thick as thieves. The kiss Balthier pecks him with is not long enough, not after everything and he follows after the pirate when he pulls back wanting more. Before he can pull Balthier back in they're interrupted, but his hand still loosely manages to reach for the sky pirate's wrist, lamely letting him go at the mention of food.
Oh. Yeah, no. Food sounded great actually. His stomach agrees, grumbling at the mention of sustenance.]
This doesn't look like food.
[Reyes teases lightly when Balthier returns with a little box. Oh, the little box is for him. He takes it gently, brows pinching slightly looking at it then up at the pirate. There's no point in asking what it is, he can open and see, which he does and Balthier is happy to provide any answers he might have as his fingers gingerly pluck the long charm up.
A protection charm?
Balthier is still talking and while he hears his words, he can't stop looking at the charm in his palm now, a soft smirk on his face.]
It will be a piece of you next to my heart.
[And having Balthier with him all the time in some sort of way was better than any spell or magick he could ever ask for. Maybe not in terms of protecting him, but shh, let him be a sappy romantic. Putting the pendant on, the thin chain around his neck, he'll smile up at Balthier now and reaches for him.]
Come here-
[There may be food waiting for them, but he wants more of his sky pirate. The kiss is demanding, but quickly softens as Reyes steals one kiss after another. Cupping Balthier's face, he'll then nuzzle in against his ear, murmuring.]
Dreadfully romantic of you, mi amor.
[And this time it's not said as a slip of the tongue. Balthier may not know what it means, but he means it all the same.]
[ The way Reyes follows after him, pulls for his lips and his wrist -- it's good for Balthier. He's been so worried that when his emotions eventually got the better of him, and they always do, all it could do was break this beautiful thing they have between them. But instead he feels like their roots have entrenched more deeply, entwined further together. A funny thing, a sky pirate wanting to take root.
He's back in a moment though, because he doesn't want to be away a moment longer than he has to. He missed Reyes, and he really thought for a few minutes -- it's past, now, and he's grinning a little too widely at Reyes's joke because he's just happy that's where they are again, and then Reyes's face changes and it will be a piece of you next to my heart. His grin is so wide even before Reyes's hand curls around him, lips taking his and he kisses back with all the fear and relief and love that's been bubbling inside him, arms sliding around Reyes's back and body shifting in close as kiss gives way to kiss and it's just so good to be here, to be okay, to -- to be okay in spite of things being rocky.
And when Reyes takes his face, nuzzles against him like that, he sighs, a shiver going through him followed by deep-seeded warmth. And here he'd been worried this was too sappy, too much like a lover's token.
Banish the thought, Balthier. This man likes you as you are. ]
You've said that one before; are you going to translate, or leave me guessing, my treasure. [ He doesn't use that one often, but it's very much on his mind right now. There is no one like Reyes; he's seen enough of the universe to feel confident in that. And he has no interest in letting the other farther from him than is strictly necessary for at least the rest of the night. And right now, admittedly, he wants to be crystal clear that Reyes is his, and cherished, and those things have not changed tonight. ]
A lover's token... oh definitely. While Reyes has his own hang ups concerning his own baggage, this maybe untangles a little of that without either of them realizing.
And this stumble of there's was a good lesson for the both of them as well. That they could trip up, but after picking themselves up brush the dust off and keep going. Together. The way Balthier moves closer, his arms wrapped around him, there's so much relief in that. They're okay and they can get through these rough moments, still love one another.]
My love.
[Because he does love him. They're both such romantic saps with their pet names and terms of endearment, how can anyone stand being around them? He wants to do nothing than pull Balthier onto his lap, kiss him breathless and tell him he's his love over and over, but they really should get to that food... Reyes instead does neither, but keeps Balthier where he is, nudging his nose with his own playfully.]
It's Spanish, the language spoken where I was born on Earth.
[ Balthier is figuring that out, and he's just going to get sappier as he does. Apologies to everyone who has to deal with them, except he's not remotely sorry; this is too rare and precious a thing for him to conceal it for the benefit of others. Also he's selfish. Pirate.
Right now none of that could be farther from his mind, though, because Reyes said the L word with no hesitation -- has said it three times, really -- and Reyes's eyes are so soft and his face is absolutely radiating with affection. Balthier chuckles as Reyes bats against him, nuzzling his nose right back. ]
Your mother tongue, then? Reyes, I'm flattered. [ Murmured, because they are so close.
And look, food is important, yes, but this idiot man just fixed weeks worth of what Balthier expects was undue worrying and genuine miscommunication. And frankly, he doesn't care about that, because however they got here, he's content. Elated, even.
His legs shift, more or less straddling Reyes as one hand curls around a fistful of cloth and shirt fabric, like he could hold his heart in his hand. Nosing against Reyes once more, he breaks their touch only to press their lips together, deep and slow. For once Balthier isn't thinking about anything else, isn't calculating and weighing options or trying to make the best decision. He has the man he loves -- then man who loves him, and Scions, what a fool, hasn't he know that awhile now? -- has him here, and they are okay, they are wonderful, and nothing else quite matters. ]
Oh you should be, I don't whip that out for just anyone.
[Okay maybe that's a lie, but it's just teasing now, good clean fun. Or it was good clean fun until Balthier climbed onto his lap. He does love the weight of the pirate on him, the warmth of him being this close.
The fist in his shirt feels more needy and hungry than the kiss that Balthier presses to his lips, but he's fine with both. If anyone deserved to hold his heart in their hands it was the sky pirate, he'd stolen it after all. A beautifully gruesome imagine.]
Mm... the food...
[Murmured uselessly before he starts another kiss. Do they really care about the food right now? His stomach does, but Reyes much prefers the pirate in his lap and the taste of his lips. Much prefers letting his hands pull him in closer by his hips, squeezing down further at the meat of his backside. It's a really nice butt, it deserves to know it's appreciated too.
Reyes could die happy right now if he could kiss Balthier for the rest of the evening. It was such an intimate thing and he loved everything about it. Loved the way Balthier's melted into him. God how did he end up this lucky? For a moment there it felt like everything was going to fall apart and he'd lose him, but some how the glue had stuck, they were okay.
He doesn't deserve him, it what flashes through his head and maybe that's true, but by God is he going to fight to be the best version of himself that he can to be the man that Balthier deserves.]
[ Reyes intermingles Spanish quite often when he speaks, not unlike many of the bilingual people Balthier knows from Ivalice. It's easy to slip into a mother tongue for topics of deep emotion: childhood memories, curse words, and things to do with love. Fran has a few Viera words she calls him often enough to have learned -- more or less idiot and dear one. So yes, he's flattered. And something deeper. It's another way he feels claimed, held close to Reyes's heart.
Those lips and hands don't hurt either. He grins into their next kiss, sinking into the pull at his hips and then the firm grip on his ass. Sometimes cloth pants had their advantages, and digging fingers into that flesh was one of them. ]
Shall I stop? [ He teases back as that kiss breaks. They aren't so different in height, but on his knees in Reyes's lap like this, he's taller, so when he strokes the other man's face, he's looking down at him, and it isn't the first time it strikes him how vulnerable Reyes can be, how gentle -- something Balthier wants to protect. Surely he has the willpower to draw out the chase if he wanted, but he doesn't want to. Doesn't even want distance between them in play right now. His other hand comes to join, and cradling Reyes's face in both of his, he uses his weight to push them both against the back of the couch, squeezing his knees against Reyes's thighs like he needs to touch and hold every inch that he can. Maybe he does, and more importantly, he wants Reyes to feel held and wanted.
Things break. He knows that. None of this is guaranteed, and years of experience and awareness of others say it shouldn't even exist. He's stayed in relationships too long before, because he's a romantic with a glass heart who would rather be loved than alone; this is nothing like that. Never has he had someone simply listen and adjust, want to hold him after he's been angry without brushing off the anger.
Their minds are in sync, Balthier wondering how in Ivalice he's so lucky, that he isn't sure he deserves this man, but deservingness has never stopped him. Gods, Scions, and fiends below, his heart is full. ]
[Frustration tended to get muttered or sighed words in Spanish from him on the worst days, but mostly it was words uttered to himself when he thought no one was listening. Bitching under his breath. The term of endearment for Balthier is knew, maybe born out of desperation for him to understand what he meant to him, without Reyes realizing he was doing it at first.
His tongue understood better what he should do than his mind sometimes.]
Don't you dare.
[Reyes tips his head up, meant for another kiss, but it doesn't come. There's a moment of realization that Balthier is looking at him. Looking and he'll stare back, gaze soft, contemplative in turn. His lips twitch into a smile when those hands hold his face. Settling back against the couch with the pirate's insistence he'll gather Balthier as close as he can looking up at him, finding he quite likes the view.]
See something you like?
[Soft, a light tease even as his hands settle on the pirate's hips, fingers toying up under the hem of his shirt to touch at warm skin. God knows he sees something he likes. Balthier looks beautiful above him, the light of the room behind him in a soft halo effect that would probably make him laugh if Reyes told him he looked like an angel. Wait, do they have angels in Ivalice?
And things may break, but they can be mended too. Sometimes it doesn't last, but all they can do is try and hope for the best. Both of them strive for it with each other.]
[ He'd laugh, after Reyes explained what an angel was. No, no worshipping gods or serving a higher order for him. But beautiful being who brings peace and good fortune -- well, that he'll strive to be for Reyes.
Seems like he's doing well on that front today, earlier distress not withstanding. What a relief to see the bliss on Reyes's face, the soft adoration as the other pulls him in tight. That's a look he wants burned into his memory, something to revisit when he doubts or when he's missing this man. Because right now, he couldn't feel more secure, and what a heady experience that was. ]
You're a better man than I realized. [ Not that his opinion hadn't already been high, but this was outside his expectations entirely. Maybe things can be mended between two people; he's only used to a model where things that break are discarded. ] Forgive me for staring. [ His lips twitch into a smile because there's nothing to be forgiven in that gesture, and he knows it, but it's just as much a thank you for Reyes's handling of, well, him.
Closing the last of the distance between them, he kisses Reyes slow and deep. Reyes's fingers brush under his shirt and he hums gently. Skin to skin contact was certainly a way to be closer, and that was all he wanted. ]
He can only hope he won't give Balthier a reason to regret those words, but it still feels good to hear it. More so after everything that just happened, that he could say that about him when things had been so tense. It's a relief.]
You're forgiven.
[Reyes smiles into the kiss, answering it back, but letting Balthier set the pace. Slow is nice, there's something about it just taking their time, not being in any rush. The likes the feel of the pirate's hum against his lips and that his touch is what causes it. Hands slip fully under Balthier's shirt now, sliding over warm skin marked with scars that tell stories that he hasn't asked about yet. One arm hugs around the small of his back, fingers trailing up along his side to brush against his ribcage, the other reaches up along his back to clutch at his shoulder. Keeping him close, wanting to touch him.]
Balthier...
[Murmured between the end of one kiss into another. As the next one ends he'll move to continue, but pulls back just enough so their lips are still parted. Lidded eyes peer at the face so close to his and he'll whisper.]
[ His apology was in jest, but hearing Reyes say you're forgiven catches tightly in his throat. He manages to swallow it, loathe to disrupt this in any way. The slowness is something they've had less of; it feels welcoming, safe. A promise in its own way, that they both trust the other to still be there even without a show.
His palms slide back, thumbs tracing Reyes's cheek bones to his ears, lingering a moment before trailing down his neck toward his collarbone. They brush over the chain of Balthier's gift, and his stomach flips. So absurd, to be a grown man utterly please by the enthusiastic reception of a token of affection, but here he is, and that's what he's trying to be: present. Honest.
At Reyes's pull, his lips part in pleasurable surprise. Scions, he's never been with someone who is so good at holding him, making him feel anchored and safe. Then Reyes is murmuring his name, peppering slow kisses with that soft, helpless look.
I'm so lucky that you're mine
One of Balthier's hands goes behind Reyes's head, the other arm wrapping firmly around his back, palm open wide to catch as much of him as possible as he pulls the other into a tight embrace. He doesn't know if he was quick enough to hide the moisture on his cheek, and he knows they're too quiet and too close to fool himself into thinking the catch in his breathing would go unnoticed. But that's alright, too. Doesn't feel like the risk it did before.
He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and just basking in the feeling of Reyes at once around him and locked in his hold, the particular musk he's come to associate with the other -- soap and sweat and a little bit of sweet alcohol -- the sound of their breathing intertwined.
They're both in so deep. But they're flying this ship together.. ]
[Something changes, it's a small shift in the air between them, but it's not. Bad. At first Reyes isn't sure what it is until Balthier is pulling him in close as well and hides his face in his shoulder. The catch of his breath, the way he holds him...
Reyes is quiet even though he could say something, but it doesn't feel like the right thing to do in the moment. So he doesn't, he'll hold Balthier tighter in turn, give him a reassuring squeeze and turns his face to press a kiss against the side of his lover's head. There's a lot not being said here and he'll trust that when Balthier is ready he'll tell him what that is, but for now he's not going to let him go, because me meant what he said.
He's so lucky that Balthier is his. That Balthier loves him. Lucky that Balthier took a chance on him, because if not they'd still just be friends and as rewarding as his friendship also was, Reyes wouldn't trade what they have now for anything.
[ It's not that Balthier's holding anything back this time, he just has no idea how to even voice what he's feeling. They've said so much tonight already. Maybe it's better he untangle that first, give it to Reyes when he can actually articulate it. And maybe there's a little shame there, too, at how vulnerable he feels. No, not vulnerable. Damaged.
Right now, he's just enjoying Reyes kissing the side of his head, until he composes himself and turns to find Reyes's lips again. There's more demand this time, not taking so much as insisting, giving what he doesn't know how to say. ]
Reyes-- [ But there still aren't words, so he kisses harder. He's lucky too. Lucky Reyes is patient and forgiving. Lucky that when he took a chance, Reyes did too.
No, there is something he wants to say. He pulls back only as much as he has to, nose finding Reyes's, like any decrease in touch will somehow upset this place they've reached. ] I am yours and yours alone. [ There's no room for anyone else; hasn't been for awhile. It's not that he doesn't think Reyes knows that; it's that Reyes deserves to hear it. ]
[He's patient because he understands that they're different even in their similarities. God Balthier had his own life before him and that shapes someone, that lifts them up and then sometimes it damages them too. He knows that well enough.
He's patient because he cares about him, loves him and what kind of man would he be if he didn't give someone he loved a chance to fuck up. Make a mess of things a little. Especially when he's done the same. They're just hume after all. Forgiving him wasn't even something he had to think about, they both had things to be sorry for didn't they?
He'll hum a little in surprise at the first kiss, but is happy to return it. The second he returns with just as much fervor, wanting Balthier to know that he loves him even through this. God if this was the worst things ever got they'd be perfect.]
Aha...
[Reyes smiles brightly, one of his hands rubbing at the sky pirate's back.]
I know... and I'm yours too, your... [He chuckles, soft.] Your treasure.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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Not me. Not yet.
[Not yet, but even if he had, that doesn't mean that everything is over. That Balthier's worth to him as a person would lessen. People make mistakes, they fuck up, Reyes knows that all too well.]
... but you're right, I expected certain things from you when I hadn't explained any of it. Told you my big deep dark secret and that meant I was doing good. [Reyes shakes his head.] Or so I thought.
[Again there is so much more that needs to be said and addressed, but baby steps.]
I'm sorry.
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He knows he’s being terrible. He knows he’s overreacted. And he knows he’s right and now that he’s started naming his feelings, he knows he has legitimate concerns and has been wildly patient, and also has waited too long to say anything and— ]
Why are you being nice? [ It comes out as a hiss, but there isn’t as much bite to it. It’s not that the other things didn’t hit; he will undoubtedly replay them endlessly and try to integrate them into his existing narrative. But nothing about this interaction makes sense to him. His own anger wars with how surreal it is to just…have had an apology. It almost feels fake. ]
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I could yell if it would help?
[Reyes winces and closes his eyes the second he says it. No, no don't- this is not the time to joke around. Another sigh, clipped, but it's frustration at himself at the situation. He's not sure how to navigate this. He'd not even gotten the chance to with Ryder. It was 'You're not the man I thought you were' and everything was over and it was back to business. Never discuss things again.
He couldn't do that with Balthier. Didn't want to either. He's unsure if his touch is wanted right now, but a hand grips at the back of Balthier's neck, squeezing gently as he lean in a little, eyes sad, but wanting to understand.]
It's not about being nice, Balthier, it's that I've wronged you. Wicked thief and murderous liar I might be when I have to, but... you're important to me. I want to do right by you.
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But it’s a passing anger. Hot until it crosses his mind and then immediately deflating. His heart hurts at seeing Reyes recoil like this and Scions he did that. This isn’t what he wanted. And now the shame is joining the rest of it and some part of him considers leaving, retreating to his fortress until he can sort this out, come back polished and ready to negotiate.
Assuming Reyes would even let him come back.
Then there’s a hand on his neck, pained words. Nowhere in his calculations had he considered that perhaps Reyes wasn’t … good at this.
That touch is the anchor her needs, the assurance that whatever is happening, whatever happened, this is still open between them. He’s not being told that he’s broken it and to go.
His chest is tight and his words are tighter. ]
I thought…you wanted space. Wanted to keep distance between us. And skies above I tried. I’ve told you. I’m melancholic and needy and clingy. I want all of you, to myself, indefinitely. And I know that isn’t fair to ask.
[ Except now that he’s saying it, he isn’t sure if any of that is true, outside the very real admission of what he wants.
He hesitantly sets his hand on Reyes’s leg. He doesn’t want him to go or yell or push him away. That would have just made it easier if he was being rejected.
He hasn’t considered that he wouldn’t be. ]
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They're both listening to each other.]
Believe me, kitten, I've known some of this for a while now.
[The pet name harkening back to that drunken night for Balthier when he'd been a clingy lap cat and earned 'kitten' from Reyes.]
I want space between you and the Charlatan, Balthier.
[Which might make it sound like he wants space between them, but that's not what he means.]
We both have our enemies, highlights of our day jobs, but the people that want to get to the Charlatan would do anything and- [His hand slides up, cupping behind Balthier's ear now, thumb brushing across his cheek.] Leading man and god-slayer you might be, but when I think about what they would do to you...
[Shaking his head a little, his eyes close as he gently pulls Balthier in closer to touch their foreheads together. It was never about Balthier not being capable of protecting himself, it was the 'what ifs'. Like when the Kett dropped a surprise attack on that trade outpost and Reyes almost died. Shit happens, he knows this and there's still so much out here in Andromeda that Balthier and Fran aren't familiar with that for all their knowledge, strengths and skill, just one little slip up, one roll of the dice that didn't land in their favor...]
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The use of his pet name -- of endearment, affection, pleasure despite him being a mess and behaving poorly some other time -- eases his fear further and again when Reyes touches his face, then presses their foreheads together. He's not certain he deserves this, but maybe this conversation is past keeping a ledger of who did what and to what end. Maybe he forgets to leave that at work sometimes; this is something entirely different than piracy, entirely different than anything else he's ever done.
He sighs, sliding his hand further up Reyes's thigh, gripping more tightly to assure he's no longer thinking about bolting, that the last thing he wants between them is distance.
That's why he was upset, after all. ]
We do both have our enemies. Don't think I haven't spent a good deal of hours and energy considering what danger I am to you and how to mitigate it. Watching you nearly die in arms once was enough, thank you. [ He's honestly touched that this is coming from a place of...of fear of loss, of him. But that doesn't mean it isn't condescending in some way, that it doesn't leave him feeling like he's being told off for being himself within the unfair constraints given. ]
We are both dating dangerous men, hmm? [ Because they are. Dating. ] That isn't going to change, and I'll be damned if I'm going to lose you -- or leave you, mortally or otherwise. So have a conversation with me. Let me know what I'm up against, or what I'm avoiding, instead of leaving me to bang around in the dark and cross some line I didn't know about and feel set up to fail.
I'm a good listener, Reyes. But I can't hear what's never been said to me. [ That leaves him to try to fill in the gaps. And clearly he hasn't done so correctly. ]
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[It's a gentle tease, trying for a bit of normalcy. Wouldn't it be nice though if their lives of danger overlapped and negated one another? Would make all of this worrying easier.
But Balthier is right, it's not fair of Reyes to expect him to understand and follow rules when he's missing half the rulebook.]
Sometimes the darkness has its uses, but you're right... not like this.
[God but he wants to kiss him so badly now, but things are probably still a little too tense for that. He sits back, but is still close, fingers lightly brushing along Balthier's ear, toying with the earrings that adorn it.]
I've no doubt you've heard of the Outcasts and the name Sloane tossed around while on Kadara. Before you took flight to the stars they ruled Kadara Port, that is until the Charlatan killed Sloane and her vermin scattered. Needless to say we've had some problems squashing the rest of the Outcasts and there are others with their views too. Detractors to those who work with the Initiative. The people the Pathfinder works for, Ryder works for.
[Scott Ryder, the human Pathfinder for the Initiative. The people that those from the Milky Way galaxy came with to the Andromeda galaxy, looking for new worlds, new chances at life. Ryder with his crew had been working tirelessly to make multiple planets livable so they could set up outposts that would one day grow to be proper cities and civilizations. It was still very much a work in progress every where, Kadara was no different.]
There are people who would do anything to get to the Charlatan, to me, for... revenge, to take back Kadara as some sort of middle finger to the Initiative, but they don't have the numbers to take Kadara by force. So they're looking for any one they can get to who could possibly know, even just an inkling of the Charlatan's true identity.
[Reyes shifts to lean back against the couch, hand resting on Balthier's arm with a squeeze. Any distance between them right now still needs that reassurance he feels.]
It's all very dramatic, but dangerous. Keema is all but trapped in Kadara Port under constant guard as she's the obvious direct connection to me. Not that I think she would ever give me away, but... I'd rather her not get hurt because of me, nor do I want that for you. [He sighs, heavy, tired, but not at Balthier.] Any trade that the Charlatan would set up with Ivalice would be seen as gain for the Initiative, more reason for my enemies to snatch up whatever and whoever they can.
somehow this became the longest tag ever
He wasn't expecting--
He's equally frozen by the gentle touch at his ear, the quiet intimacy of the way Reyes likes to fiddle with his jewelry when they talk, and the words tumbling out of him. Even when he sits back, his hand lingers.
Balthier's brow knits as Reyes speaks. Is...is Reyes afraid of losing him? ]
I've had a price on my head since I was 16. I've been hunted and caught by more angry pirates than I can count. The most powerful military in the world was after me by thirty. I know how this works.
[ His hand comes up to clasp the one at his arm. ] But I'm not used to my missteps effecting someone else. [ He and Fran were so inseparable that it was different. That and they made their decisions regarding risk together. ]
I ran this person entirely through Keema. I don't think there's an issue with it sounding like I knew anything more, and I have political reason in Ivalice to want this particular pirate to get the deal. I --
[ How much has he told Reyes, really? He sighs at himself. ]
You know I killed a god. I also killed my father, to prevent more genocide, and the prevent the Empire from crushing more countries under its boot. We won, barely. That lost princess is a queen now. Another of my contacts is the king of the former empire. Scions, Reyes, they both want me there, as an advisor, as a head of intelligence, as a...a piece of all this.
I left when I was a teen to avoid all that. It doesn't matter how far I run, I always get pulled back in. Hells I ran to the other end of the stars and they're still pulling me back.
[ He's talking partly to cover that he's still thinking through Reyes's words, through being let in and the ways this fills and corrects gaps in his model of things. And partly to try to offer some understanding of why this is all hit so hard today. ]
Perhaps the best foot forward is for me to be seeking out the Charlatan. If I am too emphatic I don't know them, it could be suspicious, and claiming that I do as a sort of bravado invites someone taking me at my word.
And -- maybe we need to give each other some primers on the whose who of our worlds.
[ It's his turn to slip a hand against Reyes's cheek. It's hesitant, and some part of him is still worried it isn't welcome, that he's broken something. At least he's always been good at putting on the face he wants, not the face he feels. ]
We're going to have to find a way to make this work.
long tag filled with all the love
There it is again, Balthier says he killed his own father, but this time there's a little more to it. God he can't imagine having that put on his shoulders. Killing family or letting people die. He can see now how the sky pirate could be insulted or hurt that he doesn't think he can handle some scoundrels wanting to kidnap or hurt him over the identity or one man. Not that it was ever that for Reyes. Balthier was very capable, even without his magicks, but it didn't stop him from being concerned.
It didn't make him feel any better knowing he was putting him in danger. That's what it was after all. Existing in his orbit was a danger and that was something he'd dragged Balthier into from the very start. It's best to let Balthier get it all out, he doesn't want to talk over him anyway. His head tilts into the hand at his cheek and he'll sigh softly, nodding.]
I'll put together dossiers on groups and people you should be knowledgeable about.
[His hand moves to lightly rest over Balthier's, face turning so he can press a kiss into his palm. His touch is always welcome, he wants him here, nothing has changed. Well. Things have changed, but not in that regard.]
This must all seem childish compared to your life, I guess you really weren't making it up when you said you were the leading man, mi amor.
[Reyes doesn't even realize he's slipped in the term of endearment, holding Balthier's hand in his lap.]
... I'm sorry, about your father, that can't have been an easy decision. [His fingers lightly brush over the sky pirate's hand, gentle, careful. There's hesitation in his words as he speaks again.] I-- can't say I like your idea, but you might be right. Either way you're putting yourself in danger. The Charlatan. Reyes Vidal. Your own wild life as the leading man.
[There's a lot he has to consider now. Not just in regard to Balthier.]
Maybe I shouldn't hide anymore. Either way people I care about, those who work for me, they're in danger, hiding behind titles and in shadows only complicates that. Not in a good way.
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Right now, though, his chest pulls tight. He hasn't let himself dwell on images of a future, convincing himself that Reyes not returning his confession of love was a line in the sand. Not that it's done anything to keep him away; no, it's only made him conscious of wanting a thing he likely can't have, and he's old hat at that.
Now, though, with Reyes spilling his thoughts like this, kissing Balthier's palm and clinging to him like he'll drift away, he's wondering if he hasn't been a complete fool. Reyes, who has never said an unkind thing about him, who always has time for him, who looks at him like he's something precious. Reyes, who doesn't like to say anything directly. ]
I rarely make things up about my life; it's unbelievable enough on it's own. But the teeth of a dog are as real as the teeth of a wyrm. Both can kill. [ He doesn't recognize the words Reyes says, from his mother tongue by the way the sounds fit snugly with his accent, but he recognizes a term of endearment, some kind of claim on his heart. He squeezes Reyes's hand, and shifts so their legs are touching, because that seems important. ] I am not insinuating either of us is more or less than the other; that is my point. We are both plenty steeped in danger on our own. Let us at least enjoy the benefits of being together, then.
[ His mouth goes dry at the next part, I'm sorry about your father. He swallows but it doesn't help. Fran's the only person he's really talked to about it; he often brushes that incident off as triumphant pirate drama, but -- it hurts to hear it, the good sort of hurt. Permission for it to hurt. Followed by you might be right and maybe I shouldn't hide anymore.
He shifts again, half in Reyes's lap so he can press their foreheads together, clasp the back of Reyes's head in his hand. ]
You don't need to make any life altering decisions tonight, but I'll support you in what you choose. They both have their benefits, secrecy and being in the open.
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But Balthier is worth this. Balthier is worth changing for, even if that change isn't that significant in the scheme of things. It's not even that he's changing because of any push or shove from Balthier's side of things, but because he wants to be a better man.
The better man Ryder saw him in, the man that Balthier sees in him too. Maybe he's already that, but sometimes he's not sure who or what he is. He's been a lot of things since coming to Andromeda, especially to Kadara... perhaps taking all those faces and masks and putting them into one would be the best thing.]
You could tell me you were a god yourself and I might believe, you know.
[It feels good when Balthier makes another point of connection between them, more reassurance for the both of them. Finally it feels like he can breathe a little easier, like there's a light at the end of whatever tunnel they'd been in. A small smile tugs at the corners of his lips, head nodding.]
All I can ask of you is to be patient with me. I'm a foolish man, Balthier. Add it to the list, right? Greedy, selfish and foolish, not sure why you put up with my nonsense.
[He's mostly joking, but a part of him does wonder sometimes.]
Promise I won't make any decisions irrationally, I have to talk with Keema about this. You'll be the second to know when I've made a decision.
[Because Keema will be the first, as his right hand woman.]
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And the rest of it, well, he's starting to reach disbelief saturation. It may be a good thing he doesn't know Reyes is feeling moved to change if not for him, in relation to him. What he does know is this man makes him feel somehow simultaneously out of his depth, utterly off balanced, and entirely rooted. Home.
Reyes's plea, gentle and playful as it is, pulls a kiss from him, quick, apology and forgiveness. There's a real benefit to not having to belabor everything with words. ]
Just how I like you. [ Because it's abundantly clear Balthier is those things too, and needs a good deal of patience, and it seems like they're both alright with that arrangement. He's thinking about addressing the end of that, or what the agreement to his request means to him, but there's a knock at the door.
He sits back, chuckling. ] I ordered us food. [ He goes to collect it -- some take out place they both like, something Reyes introduced him to, but when he comes to set it on the coffee table, he pauses at his bag, fishing out a small, pretty wooden box. He sits again, a little farther away but leg touching again, because he wants to see Reyes's face as he hands it to him. ]
Brought you something back.
[ Inside is a long glimmering green pendant on a thin chain, long enough it would sit entirely under most of Reyes's shirt necks. ]
It's a protect charm -- in Ivalice it would actually dull any physical damage toward your body. I've genuinely no idea if the spell will work away from the Mist, nor if it will work upon return, but what's romance if not symbolism and wishful thinking?
[ And maybe he worries about Reyes too, even if this is objectively not much in the way of actual protection. ]
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They'd come out the other side still together, as thick as thieves. The kiss Balthier pecks him with is not long enough, not after everything and he follows after the pirate when he pulls back wanting more. Before he can pull Balthier back in they're interrupted, but his hand still loosely manages to reach for the sky pirate's wrist, lamely letting him go at the mention of food.
Oh. Yeah, no. Food sounded great actually. His stomach agrees, grumbling at the mention of sustenance.]
This doesn't look like food.
[Reyes teases lightly when Balthier returns with a little box. Oh, the little box is for him. He takes it gently, brows pinching slightly looking at it then up at the pirate. There's no point in asking what it is, he can open and see, which he does and Balthier is happy to provide any answers he might have as his fingers gingerly pluck the long charm up.
A protection charm?
Balthier is still talking and while he hears his words, he can't stop looking at the charm in his palm now, a soft smirk on his face.]
It will be a piece of you next to my heart.
[And having Balthier with him all the time in some sort of way was better than any spell or magick he could ever ask for. Maybe not in terms of protecting him, but shh, let him be a sappy romantic. Putting the pendant on, the thin chain around his neck, he'll smile up at Balthier now and reaches for him.]
Come here-
[There may be food waiting for them, but he wants more of his sky pirate. The kiss is demanding, but quickly softens as Reyes steals one kiss after another. Cupping Balthier's face, he'll then nuzzle in against his ear, murmuring.]
Dreadfully romantic of you, mi amor.
[And this time it's not said as a slip of the tongue. Balthier may not know what it means, but he means it all the same.]
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He's back in a moment though, because he doesn't want to be away a moment longer than he has to. He missed Reyes, and he really thought for a few minutes -- it's past, now, and he's grinning a little too widely at Reyes's joke because he's just happy that's where they are again, and then Reyes's face changes and it will be a piece of you next to my heart. His grin is so wide even before Reyes's hand curls around him, lips taking his and he kisses back with all the fear and relief and love that's been bubbling inside him, arms sliding around Reyes's back and body shifting in close as kiss gives way to kiss and it's just so good to be here, to be okay, to -- to be okay in spite of things being rocky.
And when Reyes takes his face, nuzzles against him like that, he sighs, a shiver going through him followed by deep-seeded warmth. And here he'd been worried this was too sappy, too much like a lover's token.
Banish the thought, Balthier. This man likes you as you are. ]
You've said that one before; are you going to translate, or leave me guessing, my treasure. [ He doesn't use that one often, but it's very much on his mind right now. There is no one like Reyes; he's seen enough of the universe to feel confident in that. And he has no interest in letting the other farther from him than is strictly necessary for at least the rest of the night. And right now, admittedly, he wants to be crystal clear that Reyes is his, and cherished, and those things have not changed tonight. ]
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A lover's token... oh definitely. While Reyes has his own hang ups concerning his own baggage, this maybe untangles a little of that without either of them realizing.
And this stumble of there's was a good lesson for the both of them as well. That they could trip up, but after picking themselves up brush the dust off and keep going. Together. The way Balthier moves closer, his arms wrapped around him, there's so much relief in that. They're okay and they can get through these rough moments, still love one another.]
My love.
[Because he does love him. They're both such romantic saps with their pet names and terms of endearment, how can anyone stand being around them? He wants to do nothing than pull Balthier onto his lap, kiss him breathless and tell him he's his love over and over, but they really should get to that food... Reyes instead does neither, but keeps Balthier where he is, nudging his nose with his own playfully.]
It's Spanish, the language spoken where I was born on Earth.
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Right now none of that could be farther from his mind, though, because Reyes said the L word with no hesitation -- has said it three times, really -- and Reyes's eyes are so soft and his face is absolutely radiating with affection. Balthier chuckles as Reyes bats against him, nuzzling his nose right back. ]
Your mother tongue, then? Reyes, I'm flattered. [ Murmured, because they are so close.
And look, food is important, yes, but this idiot man just fixed weeks worth of what Balthier expects was undue worrying and genuine miscommunication. And frankly, he doesn't care about that, because however they got here, he's content. Elated, even.
His legs shift, more or less straddling Reyes as one hand curls around a fistful of cloth and shirt fabric, like he could hold his heart in his hand. Nosing against Reyes once more, he breaks their touch only to press their lips together, deep and slow. For once Balthier isn't thinking about anything else, isn't calculating and weighing options or trying to make the best decision. He has the man he loves -- then man who loves him, and Scions, what a fool, hasn't he know that awhile now? -- has him here, and they are okay, they are wonderful, and nothing else quite matters. ]
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[Okay maybe that's a lie, but it's just teasing now, good clean fun. Or it was good clean fun until Balthier climbed onto his lap. He does love the weight of the pirate on him, the warmth of him being this close.
The fist in his shirt feels more needy and hungry than the kiss that Balthier presses to his lips, but he's fine with both. If anyone deserved to hold his heart in their hands it was the sky pirate, he'd stolen it after all. A beautifully gruesome imagine.]
Mm... the food...
[Murmured uselessly before he starts another kiss. Do they really care about the food right now? His stomach does, but Reyes much prefers the pirate in his lap and the taste of his lips. Much prefers letting his hands pull him in closer by his hips, squeezing down further at the meat of his backside. It's a really nice butt, it deserves to know it's appreciated too.
Reyes could die happy right now if he could kiss Balthier for the rest of the evening. It was such an intimate thing and he loved everything about it. Loved the way Balthier's melted into him. God how did he end up this lucky? For a moment there it felt like everything was going to fall apart and he'd lose him, but some how the glue had stuck, they were okay.
He doesn't deserve him, it what flashes through his head and maybe that's true, but by God is he going to fight to be the best version of himself that he can to be the man that Balthier deserves.]
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Those lips and hands don't hurt either. He grins into their next kiss, sinking into the pull at his hips and then the firm grip on his ass. Sometimes cloth pants had their advantages, and digging fingers into that flesh was one of them. ]
Shall I stop? [ He teases back as that kiss breaks. They aren't so different in height, but on his knees in Reyes's lap like this, he's taller, so when he strokes the other man's face, he's looking down at him, and it isn't the first time it strikes him how vulnerable Reyes can be, how gentle -- something Balthier wants to protect. Surely he has the willpower to draw out the chase if he wanted, but he doesn't want to. Doesn't even want distance between them in play right now. His other hand comes to join, and cradling Reyes's face in both of his, he uses his weight to push them both against the back of the couch, squeezing his knees against Reyes's thighs like he needs to touch and hold every inch that he can. Maybe he does, and more importantly, he wants Reyes to feel held and wanted.
Things break. He knows that. None of this is guaranteed, and years of experience and awareness of others say it shouldn't even exist. He's stayed in relationships too long before, because he's a romantic with a glass heart who would rather be loved than alone; this is nothing like that. Never has he had someone simply listen and adjust, want to hold him after he's been angry without brushing off the anger.
Their minds are in sync, Balthier wondering how in Ivalice he's so lucky, that he isn't sure he deserves this man, but deservingness has never stopped him. Gods, Scions, and fiends below, his heart is full. ]
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His tongue understood better what he should do than his mind sometimes.]
Don't you dare.
[Reyes tips his head up, meant for another kiss, but it doesn't come. There's a moment of realization that Balthier is looking at him. Looking and he'll stare back, gaze soft, contemplative in turn. His lips twitch into a smile when those hands hold his face. Settling back against the couch with the pirate's insistence he'll gather Balthier as close as he can looking up at him, finding he quite likes the view.]
See something you like?
[Soft, a light tease even as his hands settle on the pirate's hips, fingers toying up under the hem of his shirt to touch at warm skin. God knows he sees something he likes. Balthier looks beautiful above him, the light of the room behind him in a soft halo effect that would probably make him laugh if Reyes told him he looked like an angel. Wait, do they have angels in Ivalice?
And things may break, but they can be mended too. Sometimes it doesn't last, but all they can do is try and hope for the best. Both of them strive for it with each other.]
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Seems like he's doing well on that front today, earlier distress not withstanding. What a relief to see the bliss on Reyes's face, the soft adoration as the other pulls him in tight. That's a look he wants burned into his memory, something to revisit when he doubts or when he's missing this man. Because right now, he couldn't feel more secure, and what a heady experience that was. ]
You're a better man than I realized. [ Not that his opinion hadn't already been high, but this was outside his expectations entirely. Maybe things can be mended between two people; he's only used to a model where things that break are discarded. ] Forgive me for staring. [ His lips twitch into a smile because there's nothing to be forgiven in that gesture, and he knows it, but it's just as much a thank you for Reyes's handling of, well, him.
Closing the last of the distance between them, he kisses Reyes slow and deep. Reyes's fingers brush under his shirt and he hums gently. Skin to skin contact was certainly a way to be closer, and that was all he wanted. ]
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You're a better man than I realized.
He can only hope he won't give Balthier a reason to regret those words, but it still feels good to hear it. More so after everything that just happened, that he could say that about him when things had been so tense. It's a relief.]
You're forgiven.
[Reyes smiles into the kiss, answering it back, but letting Balthier set the pace. Slow is nice, there's something about it just taking their time, not being in any rush. The likes the feel of the pirate's hum against his lips and that his touch is what causes it. Hands slip fully under Balthier's shirt now, sliding over warm skin marked with scars that tell stories that he hasn't asked about yet. One arm hugs around the small of his back, fingers trailing up along his side to brush against his ribcage, the other reaches up along his back to clutch at his shoulder. Keeping him close, wanting to touch him.]
Balthier...
[Murmured between the end of one kiss into another. As the next one ends he'll move to continue, but pulls back just enough so their lips are still parted. Lidded eyes peer at the face so close to his and he'll whisper.]
I'm so lucky that you're mine.
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His palms slide back, thumbs tracing Reyes's cheek bones to his ears, lingering a moment before trailing down his neck toward his collarbone. They brush over the chain of Balthier's gift, and his stomach flips. So absurd, to be a grown man utterly please by the enthusiastic reception of a token of affection, but here he is, and that's what he's trying to be: present. Honest.
At Reyes's pull, his lips part in pleasurable surprise. Scions, he's never been with someone who is so good at holding him, making him feel anchored and safe. Then Reyes is murmuring his name, peppering slow kisses with that soft, helpless look.
I'm so lucky that you're mine
One of Balthier's hands goes behind Reyes's head, the other arm wrapping firmly around his back, palm open wide to catch as much of him as possible as he pulls the other into a tight embrace. He doesn't know if he was quick enough to hide the moisture on his cheek, and he knows they're too quiet and too close to fool himself into thinking the catch in his breathing would go unnoticed. But that's alright, too. Doesn't feel like the risk it did before.
He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes and just basking in the feeling of Reyes at once around him and locked in his hold, the particular musk he's come to associate with the other -- soap and sweat and a little bit of sweet alcohol -- the sound of their breathing intertwined.
They're both in so deep. But they're flying this ship together.. ]
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Reyes is quiet even though he could say something, but it doesn't feel like the right thing to do in the moment. So he doesn't, he'll hold Balthier tighter in turn, give him a reassuring squeeze and turns his face to press a kiss against the side of his lover's head. There's a lot not being said here and he'll trust that when Balthier is ready he'll tell him what that is, but for now he's not going to let him go, because me meant what he said.
He's so lucky that Balthier is his. That Balthier loves him. Lucky that Balthier took a chance on him, because if not they'd still just be friends and as rewarding as his friendship also was, Reyes wouldn't trade what they have now for anything.
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Right now, he's just enjoying Reyes kissing the side of his head, until he composes himself and turns to find Reyes's lips again. There's more demand this time, not taking so much as insisting, giving what he doesn't know how to say. ]
Reyes-- [ But there still aren't words, so he kisses harder. He's lucky too. Lucky Reyes is patient and forgiving. Lucky that when he took a chance, Reyes did too.
No, there is something he wants to say. He pulls back only as much as he has to, nose finding Reyes's, like any decrease in touch will somehow upset this place they've reached. ] I am yours and yours alone. [ There's no room for anyone else; hasn't been for awhile. It's not that he doesn't think Reyes knows that; it's that Reyes deserves to hear it. ]
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He's patient because he cares about him, loves him and what kind of man would he be if he didn't give someone he loved a chance to fuck up. Make a mess of things a little. Especially when he's done the same. They're just hume after all. Forgiving him wasn't even something he had to think about, they both had things to be sorry for didn't they?
He'll hum a little in surprise at the first kiss, but is happy to return it. The second he returns with just as much fervor, wanting Balthier to know that he loves him even through this. God if this was the worst things ever got they'd be perfect.]
Aha...
[Reyes smiles brightly, one of his hands rubbing at the sky pirate's back.]
I know... and I'm yours too, your... [He chuckles, soft.] Your treasure.
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