[ When this started, Balthier had thought their private lives, their pasts and their current work alike, didn't matter between them. They saw the real pieces of each other, and both respected that distance. But he's starting to suspect it can't work like that. Their real lives keep going, and the deeper they become entangled, the more those omissions feel like wounds.
Right now, though, his chest pulls tight. He hasn't let himself dwell on images of a future, convincing himself that Reyes not returning his confession of love was a line in the sand. Not that it's done anything to keep him away; no, it's only made him conscious of wanting a thing he likely can't have, and he's old hat at that.
Now, though, with Reyes spilling his thoughts like this, kissing Balthier's palm and clinging to him like he'll drift away, he's wondering if he hasn't been a complete fool. Reyes, who has never said an unkind thing about him, who always has time for him, who looks at him like he's something precious. Reyes, who doesn't like to say anything directly. ]
I rarely make things up about my life; it's unbelievable enough on it's own. But the teeth of a dog are as real as the teeth of a wyrm. Both can kill. [ He doesn't recognize the words Reyes says, from his mother tongue by the way the sounds fit snugly with his accent, but he recognizes a term of endearment, some kind of claim on his heart. He squeezes Reyes's hand, and shifts so their legs are touching, because that seems important. ] I am not insinuating either of us is more or less than the other; that is my point. We are both plenty steeped in danger on our own. Let us at least enjoy the benefits of being together, then.
[ His mouth goes dry at the next part, I'm sorry about your father. He swallows but it doesn't help. Fran's the only person he's really talked to about it; he often brushes that incident off as triumphant pirate drama, but -- it hurts to hear it, the good sort of hurt. Permission for it to hurt. Followed by you might be right and maybe I shouldn't hide anymore.
He shifts again, half in Reyes's lap so he can press their foreheads together, clasp the back of Reyes's head in his hand. ]
You don't need to make any life altering decisions tonight, but I'll support you in what you choose. They both have their benefits, secrecy and being in the open.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-07-03 09:50 pm (UTC)Right now, though, his chest pulls tight. He hasn't let himself dwell on images of a future, convincing himself that Reyes not returning his confession of love was a line in the sand. Not that it's done anything to keep him away; no, it's only made him conscious of wanting a thing he likely can't have, and he's old hat at that.
Now, though, with Reyes spilling his thoughts like this, kissing Balthier's palm and clinging to him like he'll drift away, he's wondering if he hasn't been a complete fool. Reyes, who has never said an unkind thing about him, who always has time for him, who looks at him like he's something precious. Reyes, who doesn't like to say anything directly. ]
I rarely make things up about my life; it's unbelievable enough on it's own. But the teeth of a dog are as real as the teeth of a wyrm. Both can kill. [ He doesn't recognize the words Reyes says, from his mother tongue by the way the sounds fit snugly with his accent, but he recognizes a term of endearment, some kind of claim on his heart. He squeezes Reyes's hand, and shifts so their legs are touching, because that seems important. ] I am not insinuating either of us is more or less than the other; that is my point. We are both plenty steeped in danger on our own. Let us at least enjoy the benefits of being together, then.
[ His mouth goes dry at the next part, I'm sorry about your father. He swallows but it doesn't help. Fran's the only person he's really talked to about it; he often brushes that incident off as triumphant pirate drama, but -- it hurts to hear it, the good sort of hurt. Permission for it to hurt. Followed by you might be right and maybe I shouldn't hide anymore.
He shifts again, half in Reyes's lap so he can press their foreheads together, clasp the back of Reyes's head in his hand. ]
You don't need to make any life altering decisions tonight, but I'll support you in what you choose. They both have their benefits, secrecy and being in the open.