Aerith envelopes him in limbs and he responds somewhere between a pleased hum and a chuckle, shifting her limbs slightly to fit them together better. Arms already around her, he tangles his legs in hers, happy to get lost in where one of them begins and the other ends. This morning he wouldn't have dared held her like this, and now it feels so natural it's hard to believe it's the first time they've done this.
She's so attentive to the changes in his demeanor. Frustrated with himself, he almost wishes she wasn't. Now that he's calmer, the concern is so clear on her face. If he thought he could keep this down, he'd tell her he was fine. He knows better though.
"I know," he says, more sigh to his voice than he means. This isn't something he wants to talk about, but he feels like she deserves to know this isn't about today, not really.
"I -- Balthier isn't my given name," he starts. The words already hurt in his chest, and he pauses too long, stroking her skin, reminding himself that the danger -- all of the dangers he's checking over his shoulder for -- have passed. "I changed it when I ran away and became a pirate. My father was extremely controlling. Not having choice -- cost me a lot, almost cost me everything that mattered." It's stilted and vague, but he hopes it clarifies. "I have a hard time when my agency is threatened." So did everyone, he supposed, but he knew his reaction would take a few days to work through his system; it usually did.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2022-11-13 03:31 am (UTC)She's so attentive to the changes in his demeanor. Frustrated with himself, he almost wishes she wasn't. Now that he's calmer, the concern is so clear on her face. If he thought he could keep this down, he'd tell her he was fine. He knows better though.
"I know," he says, more sigh to his voice than he means. This isn't something he wants to talk about, but he feels like she deserves to know this isn't about today, not really.
"I -- Balthier isn't my given name," he starts. The words already hurt in his chest, and he pauses too long, stroking her skin, reminding himself that the danger -- all of the dangers he's checking over his shoulder for -- have passed. "I changed it when I ran away and became a pirate. My father was extremely controlling. Not having choice -- cost me a lot, almost cost me everything that mattered." It's stilted and vague, but he hopes it clarifies. "I have a hard time when my agency is threatened." So did everyone, he supposed, but he knew his reaction would take a few days to work through his system; it usually did.