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[portolan]

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[portolan]

[ That gets a laugh, and Fran gives him a look from whatever she's doing quietly. ]

perish the thought they'd ruin my silhouette

[ Not that he wouldn't adapt fashion is just artistic theory applied and he's excellent at color and shape.

The gap in time doesn't bother him. Honestly he's surprised he got so much undivided attention for as long as he did. ]

[grindset]

[Balthier has public transportation to thank for that. Yes, the gremlin left his occult lair for a while, alert the media. (The media does not care.)

Ninety-six minutes later,]

did you drop this

[Attached is a snap of a random earring lying on the sidewalk.]

[portolan]

[ Balthier is extremely proud of you, sir. ]

I don't own *every* earring in existence.
Is that daylight I see?

[grindset]

i bought a new lamp

[Maybe it's daylight, what of it.]

[portolan]

welcome to civilized society

[grindset]

even the street is dressed up.

[Another long delay.]

concept:
make everything closer to my apartment

[portolan]

But then how would you get your exercise twice a month?

[grindset]

closer, not directly inside

[portolan]

as long as you aren't planning to entirely move into the lab I suppose I can see the appeal

[grindset]

no

i have never made such a plan

[...]

[portolan]

Sir, it is bad when you cannot properly lie in writing. Normally it's a face or a tone that betrays a person.

[grindset]

bah
it doesn't matter anyway
i have slept on that couch many times and will do so again.

[portolan]

I have a spare bedroom
shall I invite you to dinner, give you an extra glass of wine, and force you to sleep an entire night?
Infinitely better for your back.

[grindset]

[My back is unhappy regardless, he thinks, but that's nothing to share with anyone.

And now, invitation parkour:]

are you trying to imply the bed i do own is somehow deficient?

[portolan]

I suspect your tastes for such things aren't discerning, given the time and energy it would take to secure one.

[ Don't think he doesn't notice you dodging. Half expected it, really. ]

[grindset]

my apartment came fully furnished and i have changed not a single piece of it since i moved in.

did reading that hurt you physically

[portolan]

[ oh gods yes it did ]

Please tell me you changed the linens at least.

[grindset]

you can change them?

[hee hee]

[portolan]

Don't encourage me to break into your apartment. We both know I can.

[grindset]

what are you going to do -
scamper up the drainpipe with an armful of bedding?
commit unlawful curtain exchange?

[portolan]

Please.
I do not *scamper*
I will slip in through the front door while you aren't home and replace your offending linens. You won't realize it until you get into bed or go to shower.
Presuming you have the wherewithal to notice which I somewhat doubt given that you are still living like this
Maybe I'll get you a bright color

[grindset]

this is terrorism
truly criminal

[He has now become that guy chuckling on public transit.]

[portolan]

I have been accused of both those things
but never for socializing a man to appropriate linens

[ He is ABSOLUTELY going to sneak into Viktor's apartment when he's sure the other is out, partially to prove he can, and partially because gods the man might sleep better on real linens. He might bring him actual pillows while he's at it.

He will probably succeed at this before the week is out. He breaks in twice, actually, the first time to get sizes and see what he's working with, the second to actually swap them. Since Viktor's sheets were dark, he gets light ones, but still neutral -- he wants him to use them -- in good soft linen that breathes and two good down pillows of different firmnesses. ]

[grindset]

[It's a nice building, his rent and basic domestic services afforded by funding arrangement, and Balthier will find it easy enough to get in, with only a concierge and a locked door to contend with. Viktor wasn't lying; the apartment obviously came pre-furnished. It's more or less a second office. The home of a person completely uninterested in hosting anyone.

If only the culprit could be there to see his face when he turns on the light—the angle of his eyebrows is spectacular.

Acknowledgement comes the following evening:]

you are a crazy person.
i thought i had somehow let myself in to the wrong apartment.

[portolan]

[ He is a bit of a crazy person. But also a good deal saner than most -- what is more absurd than behaving exactly as one has been trained to? ]

if all it takes to disorient you is a different color of sheets I am extremely concerned at your scientific ability
How's your neck? I imagine it ought to be better than whatever it was. Presuming you actually slept on those pillows and didn't retire to the couch in protest.